Be Dom’s Christmas Miracle
The holiday season can be a tough time of year for some people.
Especially those who are unable to work, and have to rely on government programs to help them with living expenses.
For Dom, a 31 year old trans man living with cognitive and psychological disabilities (PTSD and SBS [shaken baby syndrome] - both the result of abusive parents growing up), who barely gets enough from the government to live on at any time of the year, and has no support from his family, it is an especially difficult time. Especially this year.
The government program that subsidizes his rent (pays 2/3 of it) did not send him his subsidy payment this month, so Dom had to empty his bank accounts to pay the remainder of his rent.
His savings (which were intended for purchasing new furniture, as his is infested with dust mites and is ripped and old, and his mattress is in such rough shape, the coils are broken in places) are now gone, and so is his grocery money.
He has nothing left, and it has yet to be seen whether or not the housing program is going to eventually give him his subsidy money or not,so those funds may not be replenished.
He was already struggling, and already knew he wouldn’t have enough money for the month.
Income Support recently reduced the amount of his cheque by $50 though he told them he needed more.
And this year, since he had to cut his evangellical christian mother out of his life — because of her transphobic behavior and her denial of the abuse he suffered at her hands as a child — he won’t be receiving the small cheque she used to mail him once a year around this time (for his December birthday and Christmas).
It’s usually Dom who is helping people out around this time of year. In 2011, he went out by himself on Christmas eve and handed out presents to homeless people who were sleeping outside.
And last year, he helped sponsor a single father and child who had fallen on hard times, making sure the daughter had gifts on Christmas morning, and making sure they had enough food to eat. Unfortunately this year, he’s unable to help anyone. It’s him who needs help.
Dom doesn’t like asking for help, and was going to attempt to figure things out on his own, but the reality is, he does need help. He’s in need of a miracle.
We started an indiegogo fundraiser page, but since found out that he wouldn’t get the funds until 2 weeks after the deadline of the campaign, and his need is urgent, so we are asking that donations be sent to either his paypal or his online banking.
If you would like to donate, donations can be sent to:
Dom’s paypal - firstname.lastname@example.org
or if you live in Canada and have online banking, you can send an email money transfer to: email@example.com.
Every little bit helps.
The goal is to raise between $1000 and $1500.
And so you know where the money is going, he needs $729 to recover his savings and what little grocery money he had, and about $250 for groceries, $300 for bills, $150 for personal / household items (such as light bulbs, as most of his have burnt out, and shampoo, etc.), and maybe some money for stocking stuffers for himself, christmas lights for his tree, and a turkey for christmas dinner.
Since we aren’t using indiegogo, we’ll post updates on this page about how much we have raised, so you know how much we have left to go.
It’s perfectly alright if you can’t donate, but if you could please pass this post along, it would be greatly appreciated.
Let’s be Dom’s Christmas miracle!
If you can’t, please don’t worry about it. If you feel compelled to share it, please do, it’s appreciated. This is embarrassing for me to have to ask for help.. but I don’t really have a choice. So, help if you can.. pass it on if you can.. and if you can’t do either, don’t worry about it.
As great as the Panic at the Disco song is, it would be really nice for pop culture to recognize bi dudes as well.
There is still a misconception among a lot of people that while women are more sexually fluid, men are either gay or straight and there’s no possible in-between.
NOT THE CASE.
BISEXUAL MEN. WE EXIST.
Need help understanding FTM pregnancy.
First of all, this will sound offensive, but I PROMISE no offense is meant. I view this as MY problem alone, not anyone elses. With that context in mind:
I am a transman, on testosterone for many years and had top surgery a couple years ago. I do not want and do not plan to have kids (which I admit may contribute to all of this). I see on the news and in my personal life transmen who make the decision to drop hormones and get pregnant. The thought of this terrifies* me as I can’t understand someone who wants to be fully male enough to be on hormones and have surgery and yet do the most distinct act of being female there is… Pregnancy is THE epitome of being female in my opinion, and my rationale is purely scientific. (*By terrify, I mean for example when I found out my gay FTM friend is pregnant by his cismale boyfriend, I went into a fetal-position, half-hour long, hysterical-crying-to-the-point-of-not-breathing panic attack - which I don’t understand!) My knee-jerk reaction is to be repulsed by it… It seems “grotesque” to me. This is not a feeling I have about really anything else in the world.
Well, I don’t want to see it as such. I have battled this mental hurdle for years now, trying to be open-minded and accepting of this kind of decision. It isn’t enough to just say I should respect others decisions and everyone is different and I am not them so I can’t understand. I want to TRULY get over this. I want to really, really understand and comprehend the feelings/thoughts behind this.
Please help me understand, and please be kind… I sincerely apologize if I have triggered or offended anyone.
Milo (needsmoreandroidslashfic), care to comment?
Since you’ve had one child and are currently expecting another?
Personally though, the way I see it, you’re male if you identify as male.
And nothing that you do with your body changes that.
If you identify as male, and you get pregnant, you’re a pregnant male.
Sure, the societal norm is that women have babies.. but sometimes men have the means to have them too (the ones like us who have uteruses, ovaries, etc).. and while many of us may not like the idea of pregnancy for ourselves.. for some of us, using what we’ve got is our only option if we want biological children and can’t afford egg harvesting or surrogates or adoption and those of us who don’t have a partner who can carry a child either.
It’s not about wanting an experience that “only females have”.. it’s about wanting kids so bad you’re willing to do what’s necessary, and if pregnancy is the only way, then so be it.
I have nothing but the utmost respect for trans men who choose to get pregnant.. because I know it’s a huge sacrifice. You can’t take hormones while pregnant, everything re-feminizes (if you’ve previously been on testosterone).. estrogen takes over and can make you an emotional mess.. everything swells up.. and then eventually, you have to use your “female” parts to give birth to the baby.
Yeah, for most of us, that may be pretty off-putting..
But some of us are willing to go through all that, because that’s how bad they want a child.. you know?
It’s important to note that we’re all different, and we all have varying degrees of gender dysphoria. Some of us are repulsed by our female parts, and some of us don’t mind having them or using them at all.
Just because you have dysphoria surrounding your “female” bits, doesn’t mean every trans man is going to. We’re not cookie cutter. This stuff affects all of us in different ways.
Understanding that, I think, is the key to understanding why trans men would want to get pregnant (or use their genitals for pleasure, or anything else like that).
The bottom line though, is that being pregnant doesn’t make you female.
It just means you have the parts that make it possible.
Using those parts if you happen to identify as male, doesn’t make you any less male. It makes you one tough son of a bitch.
Talking about phalloplasty.
Brother:To be honest, size doesn't really matter, but i can understand if you have the choice, why not go for the full Shabang. The scar is totally going to make you look like a bad-ass who broke his arm trying to jump the great wall of china on rollerblades
In the wake of the Barilla chairman’s anti-gay remarks, rival pasta makers leaped at the chance to proclaim their support for gay rights and marriage equality.
WHY IS THIS ENTIRE THING SO FUNNY TO ME
Catelli Canada has commented:
”Catelli has proudly embraced all Canadian families for over five generations. We believe that pasta meals bring us all together.”
Seriously. This makes me so angry. Why is this perfectly okay and funny to post, but if this was a photo of a bunch of black girls, and the caption was “hide yo fried chicken” then everyone would flip shit like “ERMAGERD THAT’S SO RACIST HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF OMG”
Because there is no such thing as reverse racism.
Whine all you want, but white people have always had it eleventy-billion times better than any person of color.
And historically, white people treated people of color like crap. Many of us still do.
So we have no right to whine that we’re “being discriminated against” for being white. There is no such thing as racism against white people.
That’s just fucking ridiculous.
Get over yourself.
Dom knows the Craic. Clever clever man
Yeah like I get that. I don’t think anything turns you gay you just are.
[and of course that all being said, sexuality can be fluid for some people, and I should clarify that I don’t mean to say there are only two sexualities - gay and straight - there are several.. and liking dudes as a trans man doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay.. I was just giving an example. =) ]
Consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you."
100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven, Ph. D. (via dune-femme)
I’m surprised that “anti social justice” people haven’t started making “check ur feminism privilege” jokes yet.
I suspect that most of them are not actually familiar enough with genuine social justice arguments to parody them so specifically.
Why do anti social justice people even exist?
I was attacked by a bunch of them recently.. I didn’t even really do much more than express an opinion.. I guess I used a social justice term? Ableism. And I was attacked and called a “social justice warrior”.
I do not, nor have I ever, identified as a social justice warrior. I’m an activist to a degree, but I’m not militant about it.. nor do I “dogpile” people like I was accused of. Or lumped into the category of social justice activists who do that.
It was a weird situation. I had to change my Tumblr URL.. because these anti SJ morons were stalking my page and analyzing everything I said.
But back to why anti social justice people exist..
Do people really feel that threatened by social change?
¡Feliz día para todos los bisexuales!
23 de Setiembre :: Día internacional de la bisexualidad
I’m late to the party, but yay, bisexuality!
all scars are battle scars.
Friend:So are you going to get a penis?
Me:I'm not sure. So... tell me about your vagina?
Friend:*blushes* What the hell? No!
Me:Yeh, it's uncomfortable being asked about your genitals, isn't it?
I have been waiting for weeks to send a message here. I am extremely scared. For years, I have questioned my identity as a woman, and always felt “wrong”. I have discussed it with my very close friends, and I think that I may be trans and for more than just the reason I stated here. I am so scared…
Pregnant trans guy here who already has a two year old. Feel free to hit up my ask box :)
[Most people call me Dom.]
I'm 30 years old,
and I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
I'm a non-binary trans guy (FTM),
and for all intents and purposes, I'm done my transition.
I'm a trans activist, educator, and mentor.
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message. I'm here for you!