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12
15
2011

Fuck Yeah FTMs!: Help.


fuckyeahftms:

I really need some help.

http://porcelain-prince.tumblr.com/

I’ve posted on here before, several times actually, but I’ve made a second tumblr to deal with this and post this.
It’s embarrassing and upsetting and I really don’t know what to do.
First, some background. Nineteen…

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you.
There is no wrong way to be male, and there is no wrong way to be FTM.
Society puts a lot of expectations on us, and places a lot of gravity on “traditional” gender roles.. and we tend to place a lot of pressure on ourselves to meet those expectations, in order to fit in, or be considered “normal”. We think that if we’re not conforming to those standards, we’re not “man” enough.
We don’t need to put these expectations on ourselves though. We don’t need to fit a stereotype or conform to a certain standard. Nobody does. Those things don’t matter.
What matters is doing and being what makes you comfortable.

I struggled with this, myself. I’m a femme FTM. I like having my hair long, I like to wear makeup sometimes, and I like a lot of stuff that is considered “girly” (including unicorns!)..
At the beginning of my transition, I was constantly being told by other transmen that I wasn’t masculine enough. They told me I needed to cut my hair, and wear more masculine clothing and stop wearing makeup and being so flamboyant. For a while, I listened. I didn’t like having my hair so short, and I hated dressing so stereotypically masculine.. but I felt like I had to conform. I think a lot of FTM’s go through this.

Eventually, I grew tired of being miserable trying to be someone I wasn’t.. and I started just doing whatever I was comfortable with.
I’m femme at the best of times, but aside from my every day gender presentation, sometimes I like to dress like a dolly - in very cute girls clothes and put on wigs and such. It took me a while to come to terms with it, and I felt weird and abnormal too.. I even questioned whether I’m actually male or not.. but I’m fine with it now.. and I just do what makes me happy & what I’m comfortable with. I don’t care if people are going to judge me for not being masculine enough. I’m far more comfortable being this version of myself than a fake, hypermasculine, shadow of myself.

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About Me

Dominic Scaia

I'm Dominic. I'm 29 years old and I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. I'm an FTM (female-to-male transsexual), and for all intents and purposes, I'm done my transition. I'm an activist, educator, and advocate (on trans issues).


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