“Dear Dawn,

Since you were so transparent with me, I thought I owed you the same. The truth is that I thought about you all day Christmas day, as I do every day. You are my child and will always be my child.

You are right mothers just don’t stop loving their children. It must really hurt to feel as though you are not part of the family. I know this because of the pain I feel in my heart. I long for you to be part of our family. I long to have my beautiful daughter back. You truly were my sunshine. God blessed me the day you were conceived. However there is such a huge calling of God on your life that the enemy can’t stand it! I believe that’s why he has confused you. The gifts that God gave you were intended to show the love of God to others. He longs for you to sing to him.

Because of my deep faith and strong relationship with my heavenly father, I have a completely different view of things from the rest of the world. I know that children (all children) are a gift from God. He knew you before you were born, He formed you in my womb and he has a plan and a purpose for your life. When you surrender your life to Him and allow Him to show you His plan and feel His love for you, then you will experience true happiness.

I tell you all of this not for my benefit but for yours. I owe it to you to tell what I know to be true. What kind of a mother would I be if I lied to you and pretended it was ok. I can’t make you believe this, nor do I want to. This is between you and your heavenly father.

Dawn I love you very much as do your brothers and sister and your Dad. I believe that the moment you put your trust in God you will feel all of that love come back and then you will know that you are part of our family and God’s. I look forward to rejoicing with the angel’s when that happens.

All my love, forever and always,

Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxx”

[so basically, she just.. justified treating me like I’m not part of the family.. and essentially told me that once I go back to “being HER”, they’ll treat me like part of the family again and everything will be okay.. but until then.. well.. tough, because I’m going against god’s plan?]