The ramblings of Dominic Scaia

Transgender 101: 15 Things to Know

artoftransliness:

From the Huffington Post. This is a very simple, easy-to-follow article that might be helpful to pass on to friends and family members who need some help understanding or who you’re just now coming out to. 

fuckyeahftms:

Does anyone know how much time takes to came back the menses period after stop T? I know it takes some mounths but…how many?

It took about 6 months for mine to return, but it is different for everyone.
Please make sure you are going off T for the right reasons. Stopping testosterone can cause serious problems. At least it did for me.
Emotional instability, severe depression, suicidal thoughts, body re-feminization (my thighs, butt, and hips got bigger again.. shoulders got smaller and less broad, face became more feminine, and even my mannerisms changed), and a few other things.

Whether or not you continue taking T is ultimately your decision, and not being on it doesn’t make you any less trans*, but messing around with your hormones can cause some serious problems, so just make sure going off T is right for you.

This comment left on Kenneth’s video is VERY problematic. This is a fellow transman basically saying that if you are comfortable with your “female” genitalia and use it for sex, you are not actually male.. that you’re just a “masculine female”.
If any of you would like to respond to this person’s oppressive and ignorant comment, I encourage you to do so. I already did.

This is what he said:
“…what confuses people about a trans-male sexually attracted to males is intercourse. if you want to be a (trans)-male, having sex with a bio male means you embrace your female genitalia (unless you use a prosthetic penis to penetrate / cover your vaginal opening). if you embrace your female genitalia, then you are a masculine female in a heterosexual relationship, not a gay trans-male. When a trans-male like Buck Angel is being penetrated by males in porn videos, that confuses people about trans-male sexuality. if you want to look like a male (or just look masculine), just say that instead of calling yourself a trans-male. but if you want to live as a heterosexual male, then i can’t honestly say you’d enjoy penetration on the receiving end. oral sex, yes, but not penetration.”

This is what *I* said:
“No, actually. Being comfortable with one’s genitalia has nothing to do with gender identity. Some transmen — MANY, actually, are comfortable with what they’ve got between their legs and use it for sexual gratification, and it DOESN’T make them any less male. Your biggest problem is that you equate physical sex with gender. That’s the kind of bullshit cisgender people say to us. When you say shit like this, or have these kinds of views, you’re oppressing people in your OWN community.”

You can respond to the comment(s) at the following link:
http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=v9lcCxOhD9E

someotherchick:

freak-thefreak-out:

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oh, ok. It’s good to know that everyone’s ~magical intent~ makes everything fine and dandy.  

Great.  Now that everything’s figured out, let me just…

—and take a motherfucking seat.  Don’t pull the “oh, you people are sooo sensitive” condescending bullshit.  This is something people have a legitimate fucking problem with.  

Just because it doesn’t offend you personally doesn’t mean that others aren’t offended by that word being tossed around so blithely.  it is a cissexist slur, a word used to hurt trans* individuals (and others who don’t fit someone else’s ideal of gender presentation, but the word is mainly thrown at trans* people and trans*women especially [ and I must put in a note that the people most in danger are trans*women of color ]).  And by hurt I don’t mean bruised feelings, I mean hurt as in as in attempted and successful murder of trans* people, especially trans*women.  

and just like every other slur, the only people who have the fucking right to reclaim that word into something positive are those who’ve had that word used against them/belong to the group who has had that word used against them.  

So, no.  I am not taking it the wrong way.  

You and Victoria and the Victorians may not have intended it to be a ridiculously offensive move of gross ignorance, but intent is not magical.  

That word isn’t yours to have fun with, and that’s not just my opinion:  it’s a fact.

buckangel:

Hi Buck Angel..My name is Luke…I’m trans and I don’t know what to do anymore.
I want to be a boy, but I feel like if I have to be a boy, I have to be super manly..
I’ve been crying on and off for so long because I still like girl things and I don’t know if I’m allowed to…

You can be whatever you want!! There is no right or wrong way to be a boy or a man!
Just be yourself!
WOOF!
Buck Angel®
Pioneering Filmmaker, Speaker, and Advocate

Hi Luke,

There is no wrong way to be trans. You don’t have to fit a stereotype.

Please check out this response I gave to another transguy with similar concerns:
http://dominic-scaia.tumblr.com/post/14265443849/fuck-yeah-ftms-help

Also, watch this video.
In this video, I talk about what makes a person a “man”, and how this pertains to FTM’s as well.

I hope this helps.

- Dom

Hi mom,
Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you til now.. but I wanted to let you know your card arrived first thing monday morning. Fast eh?! Thank you so much =)
Thanks also for the photos. The boys are so grown up.. it’s insane. I miss them quite terribly.

Christmas is a rough time of year for me. I miss you guys so much it hurts.  It’s the only time of year I really drink. Just to get through it.
I wish I didn’t have to be alone. I don’t feel like I have a family.
I often wish I could just be someone you approve of, so that I can be a part of it.
But to be that person you see me as, I’d be miserable.. and I probably wouldn’t want to be alive.

Being this person I am living as now, I am the most stable I’ve ever been in my life. I don’t hurt myself anymore.. I haven’t touched drugs in 5 years.. I stopped lying and overcompensating completely.. I haven’t tried to kill myself in a long time.. I stopped hurting people.. and many of my other bad habits stopped as well. I wasn’t a good person back then.. but now, I’m a genuinely good person, and I can actually say I’m proud of who I’ve become. I just wish you could be proud of me too. I understand that there’s a conflict of interest, and I do understand why. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.. you know? It hurts to have your parents not be proud of you. It hurts to have your siblings not want to have anything to do with you. It hurts that the one thing that has made me happy has driven you all away.. and it hurts that I can’t do anything about it.
All I can do is live my life and try to build my own family out of friends and people I’ve met along the way. I have four pseudo-moms, a street dad, several “brothers” and “sisters”.. but it’s just not the same. They’re not my real family.. and no matter how many times they call me “son” or “brother”, it doesn’t replace or change the fact that you guys never will.
I’m beyond the days of getting mad that you call me by my birth name, refer to me in female pronouns, and send me cards that say “daughter” on them. I’ve come to terms with the fact that you never will see me or accept me as anything else.. I’ve accepted it.. but it will never stop hurting me.
I just want you to know I wish so much that I could be the person you all want me to be. Then I wouldn’t have to be alone. Then you’d be proud of me. I’d have a family again.

This is not a choice I’ve made.. because if I had the choice, you can bet I never would have gone down this road. Losing my family was a risk I had to take in order to be happy. It’s a risk all people who transition take. Among all the many other risks. We would never choose this life if we didn’t have to. No one wants to be discriminated against or at risk for being the victim of a hate crime.. no one wants to lose family, friends, jobs, places to live, or basic human rights (in canada, the rights of transgender people are not protected). But it becomes a choice between, “okay, do I want to end up taking my life..” or “do I want to be happy but possibly risk losing everything that’s important to me?”
Most of the time, life is more appealing than death.. and for me, I just wanted to live my life and be happy and do all the things I had dreamed of doing and achieving all the things I wanted to achieve.
So I did what I had to, to feel like I was finally being ME.
Nobody put the idea in my head or convinced me this is who I was.. and I didn’t do this for attention (obviously.. it’s been over 5 years now) and I certainly didn’t do this to hurt anyone, especially not you.
I’m not trying to persuade you to accept me or anything, because I know that none of what I say could change anything. I just wanted you to know why I transitioned, why I’m living as this person.
I may have explained all this to you before.. I’m not sure. Maybe not with this much clarity or objectivity.. and this time I didn’t bother going into the medical aspect of it or explaining the “what”, as there is no need for it. I’m not trying to convince you of anything anymore, and all it would do is make you uncomfortable.
I just felt the need to go into the “why” now, for some reason, as well as how losing my family as a result of it, affects me.
I actually intended to write a couple of lines saying thank you for the card, and then press send.. so much for that.. heh. Verbal diarrhea. I’m a writer. I guess it happens.

Anyway, I know that with regards to this person I am living as, things between you, the rest of the family, and I, will probably never change.. but that doesn’t stop me from hoping.
Because I miss my family. As dysfunctional as our relationship has pretty much always been, I’ve always wanted to be part of the family, and have always longed for your approval and acceptance.. and every holiday I spend alone, I never fail to think of all of you and wish I was there. Wish I was with my family around the christmas tree. Or eating turkey. Anything, really.
I just don’t want to feel like an orphan anymore.
I’m still here.. I’m still the same person.. my body may be a bit different and I may go by a different name.. but I promise I’m still your child. Still your blood. That will never change.
I love you, and I hope you’re doing well.

- D

A lot has happened since I posted the initial story about James, the transman who was attacked on Wednesday.. so I’m going to give you an update.

Firstly, not long after James pressed charges, his attacker, Mark, turned around and pressed charges on James, for defending himself.. which was a huge outrage. Way to vilify the victim.

Anyway, the good news (GREAT news, actually!) is that, as of yesterday morning, I believe, the charges against James have been dropped, and Mark has been arrested and charged with assault.
I’m not sure how this happened, but the fact is that it did, and this is very good news!

You may reblog this, but I’ll be editing this post as I get more details.. so keep your eyes peeled on this blog.

A canadian transman made this in response to the anti-transgender ad that ran in the National Post on Sept 27th. Great response.

This is for all you transmen (and other non-binary or gender nonconforming men) out there who face discrimination just for being yourselves, for not being the stereotype or “ideal” of how people think a man should be.

This was a video for week 2 of the all FTM collab channel I facilitate, FTM Television, in which I talk about how different social groups / divisions of society / etc define what a “MAN” is, and also my opinion on what I think makes a person a man.
 
Click here to see the music video for “More than a man” by Scatterheart! (It’s epic, I promise!)

THIS STORY IS FROM SEPTEMBER 2011 AND EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY BEEN RESOLVED, SO PLEASE STOP RE-BLOGGING AND CAUSING FURTHER UPROAR. IT IS NOT NECESSARY. THANKS.

19 year old transman violently attacked for being trans

19-year-old transman, James Alexander, was violently attacked for being trans yesterday morning while going for a walk in his neighborhood. To get to his destination, he had to walk past the house of a girl he was once interested in who had turned him down in the past (saying that “she can’t be with him because he’s not a real man” and that “she’d consider him IF he had a penis.”, and also calling him a “faggot”.), but he didn’t think anything of it, as he’s lived in the area for three years. He certainly wasn’t expecting what was to come.

As he walked past the house of the girl, she came out, and told him she wanted to talk to him. James stopped, to be polite, and because he figured he’d let her say what she needed to say. She asked him if he is a man, to which he said “Yes.”. She then told him to prove he’s a man. He told her off, and began to walk away.  As he was walking away, he felt someone grab the back of his shirt. The person spun him around to face them, and he discovered that it was the girls six-foot-five, 25-year-old boyfriend, Mark. Mark yelled in his face and also told him to prove he was a guy. James told him to back off, and shoved him away. Both the girl and Mark called James a “faggot”, and he began to cry. The two of them then proceeded to make fun of James for crying, saying “Oh look, the little girl is crying”. James started to walk away again, as Mark approached him and punched him in the face, right in the eye.. and continued hitting him repeatedly, while laughing, because James was crying.

James, who is significantly smaller than Mark, at five-foot-eight, and is not a violent person at all, defended himself as best he could, and got away.. but not before he sustained injuries to his face and hand, as well as psychological trauma.

James’ mother called the police, and also had him take photos of his injuries.. but it would seem that Mark is not going to be charged, after all. James explains, “It’s his word against mine. He has his mom, his girl, and three other people saying he didn’t do anything.. so even though I have a broken face and can’t physically stop crying or shaking, he is just getting a warning. I’m pressing charges, but he won’t be arrested. Just told to go to court on a certain day I guess.”

The bottom line is that he was attacked for a specific reason; for being trans. That qualifies what happened to him as a hate crime. This was a violent transphobic attack, and the guy who did this to this 19 year old transman, needs to be charged and convicted accordingly. It’s unfortunate that they won’t arrest Mark.. but I do hope that once this goes to court, he’s punished. He shouldn’t be able to just get away with this. Too many times has an incident like this happened, and the attacker gone free. It’s time we (transgender individuals) started being taken seriously when things like this happen to us.

If anyone who is reading this knows of any resources that could help James to ensure his attacker is convicted (legal counsel for trans people, etc), he can be contacted at ericjames1302@yahoo.com.

Also, if you’re a journalist who would like to write about this, I encourage you to do so, as increasing awareness about this incident is very important. There needs to be a huge public outcry about this. This boy needs all the support he can get. Then, maybe something will be done.
Once again, James can be contacted at ericjames1302@yahoo.com.