My 10 year highschool reunion is coming up, so I put this together, for my classmates who are on facebook and may stumble upon my profile on the facebook group and wonder who I am. It’s a lot easier than explaining!
I graduated in 2002, and it’s now 2012.. but these were the best photos I could find for a comparison.
Wearing my hair in a samurai ponytail a lot lately.
FTM TELEVISION HACKED. ALL VIDEOS GONE.
FTM Television was “hacked” today (our account was somehow compromised).
All of our videos were deleted, and the password was changed twice.
We don’t know who did this or how it happened.
I was able to regain access to the account and change the password because the recovery email is my personal email address.. but all videos are gone, and we don’t know if we can get them back. We are absolutely heartbroken.
To our subscribers, we are so sorry. We are trying to see if there’s any way we can have our videos restored. Hopefully it’s possible.
If you are transgender/gender variant or an ally (but especially transgender or gender variant in any way), please fill out this survey for me!
Problematic and discriminatory comment from someone WITHIN the FTM community (TW)
“No, actually. Being comfortable with one’s genitalia has nothing to do with gender identity. Some transmen — MANY, actually, are comfortable with what they’ve got between their legs and use it for sexual gratification, and it DOESN’T make them any less male. Your biggest problem is that you equate physical sex with gender. That’s the kind of bullshit cisgender people say to us. When you say shit like this, or have these kinds of views, you’re oppressing people in your OWN community.”
You can respond to the comment(s) at the following link:
The Transbrothers week 2 - Dominic - Public washrooms & changing rooms
It’s week 2, and in this video, I talk in length about my experiences with public washrooms, etiquette, and change rooms.
I had more to say on this topic than I thought! XD
I forgot to mention STP’s. No, I don’t use one. They don’t work for me at all. I prefer to sit, anyways.
Hi. My name is James.. Or Jamie :3
I am Pre everything. I am also Batman. But Shhh. Totally a secret. Always looking for new mates and any information about Natural Transitions :) Come say hi yes?
Here’s some info on natural transitioning:
An email from my mother in response to the one I sent her, in which she essentially tells me I’m nothing if I’m not living as the person I was “born as”.
Since you were so transparent with me, I thought I owed you the same. The truth is that I thought about you all day Christmas day, as I do every day. You are my child and will always be my child.
You are right mothers just don’t stop loving their children. It must really hurt to feel as though you are not part of the family. I know this because of the pain I feel in my heart. I long for you to be part of our family. I long to have my beautiful daughter back. You truly were my sunshine. God blessed me the day you were conceived. However there is such a huge calling of God on your life that the enemy can’t stand it! I believe that’s why he has confused you. The gifts that God gave you were intended to show the love of God to others. He longs for you to sing to him.
Because of my deep faith and strong relationship with my heavenly father, I have a completely different view of things from the rest of the world. I know that children (all children) are a gift from God. He knew you before you were born, He formed you in my womb and he has a plan and a purpose for your life. When you surrender your life to Him and allow Him to show you His plan and feel His love for you, then you will experience true happiness.
I tell you all of this not for my benefit but for yours. I owe it to you to tell what I know to be true. What kind of a mother would I be if I lied to you and pretended it was ok. I can’t make you believe this, nor do I want to. This is between you and your heavenly father.
Dawn I love you very much as do your brothers and sister and your Dad. I believe that the moment you put your trust in God you will feel all of that love come back and then you will know that you are part of our family and God’s. I look forward to rejoicing with the angel’s when that happens.
All my love, forever and always,
[so basically, she just.. justified treating me like I’m not part of the family.. and essentially told me that once I go back to “being HER”, they’ll treat me like part of the family again and everything will be okay.. but until then.. well.. tough, because I’m going against god’s plan?]
In this video, I talk about a few christmas traditions and memories of christmases past.. as well as talk about my plans (or lack thereof) for the upcoming holidays.. and share a letter I sent my mother, where I talked about how not having my family affects me around this time of year.
*TRIGGER WARNING FOR TRANSMISOGYNY AND THE USE OF THE N WORD*
“TRANNY” IS NOT *OUR* WORD TO RECLAIM!!
So this transman (see video above) in a video titled “Tranny Tranny Tranny GET OVER IT!” defensively goes on and on about how he thinks the usage of the word “tranny” is perfectly okay. That it’s okay to just take the word back, as a transman. And that he doesn’t understand why people are getting so bent out of shape about it. He also used the “N” word to try to make a point.
He made the video to stand up for his boyfriend (also a transman), who recently posted a video on a collab channel he’s part of, about how he feels about the word “tranny”. He (the boyfriend) allegedly got hated on for that video, because he dressed up like a drag queen and proceeded to throw around the word like it wasn’t a big deal at all.. stating that he’s “reclaimed” it and that it’s “fabulous”.
So Hayden made the video in his defense, arguably being even more offensive than his boyfriend.
Both videos pissed me off to NO END.
What these boys need to understand is that it’s NOT our word, as FTM transsexuals, to take back.
It is a derogatory and offensive word that has been used for decades to oppress transwomen. It’s extremely transmisogynistic to just say “it’s just a word, stop whining about it being offensive”. We don’t have the right.
It’s not “just a word”. It is NOT our word to take back. Was it used to oppress us? NO. Is it as offensive when used against us? NO.
We can’t even BEGIN to fathom the crap our trans sisters went through and continue to go through. If “tranny” is anyone’s word to take back, it’s THEIRS.
Don’t you DARE sit there and try to tell me that you have the right to “take it back”, or that you KNOW what our sisters go through and how the word has affected them.
All the explaining in the world will never justify it. The word “tranny” is about as much OUR word to “reclaim” as the “N” word is for a white person to “reclaim”.
Transmisogyny is unacceptable, and if I catch any of my trans brothers acting in that way, you bet your ass I’m going to call them out on it.
It’s fucking wrong, so cut it the FUCK out.
I should also mention that not only is the word not acceptable to “take back” due to its history and use in oppression, BUT, using the word to describe oneself can also make cisgender people think it’s okay to use the word.. and that’s NOT an impression we want to be giving.
I could say more, but I’ll leave it at that.
P.S. Please flag this video, vote it down, and post educational comments.
The letter I just wrote my mother (TW)
Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you til now.. but I wanted to let you know your card arrived first thing monday morning. Fast eh?! Thank you so much =)
Thanks also for the photos. The boys are so grown up.. it’s insane. I miss them quite terribly.
Christmas is a rough time of year for me. I miss you guys so much it hurts. It’s the only time of year I really drink. Just to get through it.
I wish I didn’t have to be alone. I don’t feel like I have a family.
I often wish I could just be someone you approve of, so that I can be a part of it.
But to be that person you see me as, I’d be miserable.. and I probably wouldn’t want to be alive.
Being this person I am living as now, I am the most stable I’ve ever been in my life. I don’t hurt myself anymore.. I haven’t touched drugs in 5 years.. I stopped lying and overcompensating completely.. I haven’t tried to kill myself in a long time.. I stopped hurting people.. and many of my other bad habits stopped as well. I wasn’t a good person back then.. but now, I’m a genuinely good person, and I can actually say I’m proud of who I’ve become. I just wish you could be proud of me too. I understand that there’s a conflict of interest, and I do understand why. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.. you know? It hurts to have your parents not be proud of you. It hurts to have your siblings not want to have anything to do with you. It hurts that the one thing that has made me happy has driven you all away.. and it hurts that I can’t do anything about it.
All I can do is live my life and try to build my own family out of friends and people I’ve met along the way. I have four pseudo-moms, a street dad, several “brothers” and “sisters”.. but it’s just not the same. They’re not my real family.. and no matter how many times they call me “son” or “brother”, it doesn’t replace or change the fact that you guys never will.
I’m beyond the days of getting mad that you call me by my birth name, refer to me in female pronouns, and send me cards that say “daughter” on them. I’ve come to terms with the fact that you never will see me or accept me as anything else.. I’ve accepted it.. but it will never stop hurting me.
I just want you to know I wish so much that I could be the person you all want me to be. Then I wouldn’t have to be alone. Then you’d be proud of me. I’d have a family again.
This is not a choice I’ve made.. because if I had the choice, you can bet I never would have gone down this road. Losing my family was a risk I had to take in order to be happy. It’s a risk all people who transition take. Among all the many other risks. We would never choose this life if we didn’t have to. No one wants to be discriminated against or at risk for being the victim of a hate crime.. no one wants to lose family, friends, jobs, places to live, or basic human rights (in canada, the rights of transgender people are not protected). But it becomes a choice between, “okay, do I want to end up taking my life..” or “do I want to be happy but possibly risk losing everything that’s important to me?”
Most of the time, life is more appealing than death.. and for me, I just wanted to live my life and be happy and do all the things I had dreamed of doing and achieving all the things I wanted to achieve.
So I did what I had to, to feel like I was finally being ME.
Nobody put the idea in my head or convinced me this is who I was.. and I didn’t do this for attention (obviously.. it’s been over 5 years now) and I certainly didn’t do this to hurt anyone, especially not you.
I’m not trying to persuade you to accept me or anything, because I know that none of what I say could change anything. I just wanted you to know why I transitioned, why I’m living as this person.
I may have explained all this to you before.. I’m not sure. Maybe not with this much clarity or objectivity.. and this time I didn’t bother going into the medical aspect of it or explaining the “what”, as there is no need for it. I’m not trying to convince you of anything anymore, and all it would do is make you uncomfortable.
I just felt the need to go into the “why” now, for some reason, as well as how losing my family as a result of it, affects me.
I actually intended to write a couple of lines saying thank you for the card, and then press send.. so much for that.. heh. Verbal diarrhea. I’m a writer. I guess it happens.
Anyway, I know that with regards to this person I am living as, things between you, the rest of the family, and I, will probably never change.. but that doesn’t stop me from hoping.
Because I miss my family. As dysfunctional as our relationship has pretty much always been, I’ve always wanted to be part of the family, and have always longed for your approval and acceptance.. and every holiday I spend alone, I never fail to think of all of you and wish I was there. Wish I was with my family around the christmas tree. Or eating turkey. Anything, really.
I just don’t want to feel like an orphan anymore.
I’m still here.. I’m still the same person.. my body may be a bit different and I may go by a different name.. but I promise I’m still your child. Still your blood. That will never change.
I love you, and I hope you’re doing well.
- Posted 1 year ago
- 10 notes
- alone for christmas
- christmas alone
- alone for the holidays
- i feel like an orphan
- ftm transgender
- ftm transman
- ftm transguy
- female to male transgender
- female to male transsexual
- female to male transition
- black sheep
- black sheep of the family
- i miss my family
- i want my family back
- i wish my family would accept me
We still need more audition videos!
We still need at least 14 more audition videos before we can choose the 6 new guys plus subs for the channel.. so PLEASE audition if you can, and REBLOG this post either way!!
HEY! HEY! EVERYONE! We need auditions. All kinds of auditions. Non-binary identified, queer, friendly, straight, whatever. Just audition, please?
We now need at least 7 more members.
Today (December 17th) was the original deadline, but we’re now EXTENDING the deadline.
Until we get 20 videos or so. More would be nice, but 20 should be sufficient, I hope. We have 7 spots to fill, plus we need subs, and our channel is dying FAST.. so, we are in desperate need of audition videos, people.. so get crackin!
FTM Television still needs 12 more auditions!
There’s got to be at least a handful of people who are following me who would like to audition for the collab channel!
Some guys have already sent in some GREAT audition videos, but we need 12 more before we can make a decision.. so we’re extending the deadline past December 17th. The deadline is now whenever we have about 20 videos.
We have at least 6 spots to fill.
You know you want to audition, so go do it!
You don’t have to be from canada or the U.S. .. you can be from anywhere in the world! (In fact, guys from other countries would be GREAT, seeing as how we’re all from Canada & the U.S. right now!) There’s also NO age limit, and you don’t need to be done your transition, and we LOVE diversity. Femme guys, masculine guys, guys of color, you name it.. we welcome it!
So what are you waiting for? Go audition!! ;)
CALL FOR AUDITIONS FOR ALL-FTM COLLAB CHANNEL!
Hey there! We are an all-FTM collab channel on YouTube called “FTM Television” and we are now looking for 6 new weekly members for the channel, as well as some subs.. so now is your chance to audition, if you want to be part of it!
Watch this call for auditions video, and if you want to be a part of the channel, go make an audition video!
You have until December 17th, or whenever we get 20 - 30 audition videos.
Good luck, and we can’t wait to watch your videos!
- Posted 1 year ago
- Reblogged from ftmtelevision with
- 14 notes
- collab channel
- female to male transgender
- female to male transsexual
- ftm collab
- ftm collab channel
- ftm collab channel auditions
- ftm television
- ftm transgender
- trans man
- youtube collab channel